Every Night
by Kaivern
Summary: Al watches as his brother struggles to keep himself from cracking from the constant nightmares and the pain caused by his automail, just like every other night.


I know I should be working on my other stories, but I don't like to force myself to continue on them. I don't think they turn out as well if I do, but I wanted to write, and I came up with this. There is one spoiler, but it's minor.

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did, it wouldn't have turned out as amazing as it did.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Ed gasped as he shot up in his bed, he stared out into his dorm room without really seeing anything. His shivered as the cold air attacked his sweat covered body. He wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to warm himself, but his skin protested even more as it came into contact with the froze metal. It was winter, and Central was being coated in a thick blanket of snow. His stubs throbbed in sync with his heartbeat as the snow continued to fall in the middle of the night. The wind was raging outside, creating an unbearable howling noise as it pushed up against the window, the winter storm was nothing short of a blizzard. It sure was going to be fun walking to headquarters in the morning, Ed mused bitterly.

"Brother?" Al's voice spoke up hesitantly from where he had curled himself up at the edge of Ed's bed. Ed looked over at the suit of armor and locked eyes with the bright red lights floating inside of the helm. "Are you alright?" Al asked him worriedly, though he wasn't expecting an answer. It was just like every other night; Ed would always wake up in a cold sweat and he would always ask if Ed was okay.

Ed just gave his brother a wide smile. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" He would always say the same thing every night. His smile would always be slightly strained around the edges and his eyes would be pained, but Al would never pursue the subject further because he didn't want to upset his brother even further than he obviously already was.

"No reason." Al spoke quietly and looked down at the floor quickly. They listened to the storm roar outside of the room and the loud humming of the boiler working a few doors down. Ed watched as Al began to nervously fidget with the his loin cloth before lying back down in the bed. He pulled up the blankets to his shoulder and curled up into a ball beneath them. It was so cold, his ports continued to throb unmercifully, and Ed toyed with the idea of taking a few pain killer that he had stored in the medicine cabinet. He thought better of it when he heard the metal plates of Al's armor shift around, no need to worry Al further than he already has.

Though, his reason for waking up wasn't because he was in pain. No, it was because he had another nightmare. His dreams were constantly plagued with them. They were always so vivid too, he could always feel the blood still on his skin whenever he woke up. He always could hear the screams even though his dreams long since faded away. Most of the nightmares consisted of old memories, but one popular nightmare had taken on a new twist.

It was when he relived the night when they tried to transmute their mother. He could plainly see the excitement on Al's face as they set up the transmutation circle, and every time he knew what was going to happen, but would be unable to stop it. He would be forced to watch the scene through the eyes of his eleven year old body in horror. He would scream with his younger self as his leg was ripped away from him. He watched as his younger self struggled to draw the circle on Al's armor with his own blood, and watched as his right arm disappeared to pay the price.

Though, whenever the light of the soul binding transmutation faded Ed could feel his throat tighten as the bright light of Al's eyes didn't blink into existence. The armor didn't move an inch, and his younger self would choke down a sob. In desperation his younger self would clap his hands once more to try again, screaming out for the truth to take his life if it meant to let his little brother live. He would watch as his younger self continuing to clap in desperation as he kept sacrificing something else, only to find that Al's soul still wouldn't bind to the armor. It was a little different each time; his other leg, his hearing, his voice, just about everything. This continued on until he would eventually kill himself, ultimately failing at bring his brother back, and then Ed would wake up.

And then he would always stare at his automail in horror realizing that he would have done the same exact thing if Al's soul didn't bind to the armor.

His other dreams always ended the same, either he had died, or he would have to watch as everyone he cared about die in front of him. Things like Al's soul being rejected by the armor, Winry being killed by a freak accident while riding on a train to Rush Valley, and even things like colonel bastard being murdered by Scar.

Ed sighed slightly, these thoughts weren't doing him any good, he should probably get back to sleep. He had to report to the colonel early in the morning. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the fiery pain burning in his ports, and decided that he wasn't going to get any sleep like this.

Ed stood up abruptly, startling his brother slightly and stalked into the bathroom. He placed his hands on both sides of the sink and looked into the mirror. He had large, dark bags under his eyes, they were dark enough that someone could mistake them for black eyes if they didn't know better. The whites of his eyes were blood shot and his loose hair was flying out in different directions, making him look crazed. He sighed and opened up the medicine cabinet and pulled out a rather large bottle that was almost empty. Winry had given it to him a few years back while he was getting his maintenance done.

_"Take two of these pills if your ports start to act up. It's pretty new, but many customers say that it works wonders."_

He reluctantly unscrewed the cap and pulled out two of the small, white pills. He quickly dry swallowed both of them before placing it back on the shelf. At that point, he wasn't too concerned about worrying Al, his ports just hurt _so much, _he just wanted to pain to _leave. _He stumbled out into the dark room and plopped down on his bed with a quiet grunt. He covered himself up again with his blankets and stared outside of the window, he didn't even look over at Al, but he felt his brother's eyes follow his every move.

The snow continued to rage in a chaotic flurry. He watched as the snow began to pile up even higher on the window seal when he noticed it was getting harder to keep his eyes open. Winry also said something about those pills making people drowsy, and he knew that they were doing their job, but he didn't want to fall asleep and succumb to his nightmares just yet, he wanted to stay awake just a little longer. He struggled against the claws of sleep for as long as he could, completely ignoring that fact that he really needed to fall asleep if he wanted to be able to face the colonel later. Eventually he gave in and let his eyelids drift shut.

"Night, Al." Ed mumbled as he buried himself further into his bedding and Ed heard Al grab a book from off of the floor with a sigh.

"Goodnight, brother." Al replied with a hint of disappointment in his voice, though Ed was too far gone by that point to catch it. Just like every other night, Al would watch as his brother struggled against his fears and his pain, he would always sit there and watch as his brother would stumble into the bathroom to take some of the pills Winry prescribed him and watched as his brother would fall asleep again on his bed. Each time Al mentally screams at himself to help his brother, but he knows that Ed wouldn't appreciate the gesture. So he just sits and waits for the moment that his brother will break, and will be there to help pull Ed back together.

Just like every other night.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

So how was that? Please leave a review if you have time.


End file.
